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The Dead Girl's Lament. by thewritingthimble The Dead Girl's Lament. by thewritingthimble
This is a tanka/elegy poem with an edited image.

Awesome stock from: [link]

This is the second tanka that I have posted (a Japanese form of poetry with a 5,7,5,7,7 syllable stucture) and including everything it took around 4.5 hours to complete.

Hope you guys like it :typerhappy:

:D

P.S. please do not copy or redstribute my work without my permission-thanks! :hug:
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:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Professional Writer
Hi, Sean here with a requested critique from :iconwe-poets:

I tend to be scared of commenting on poetry turned into art like this, because very often the person is looking for praise, not critique. But if you are open to change, I have none for the words themselves, just the placement.

The picture is beautiful and the words great, so I'd suggest you move them down a bit and use a color that will stand out better. Right now "Snatched before" blends into the green above it, "the reaper's claim" goes into the dark area of her neck, the comma after "legacy" disappears, and "woe" crashes a bit too.

All else looks great.
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
Thank you :) I will keep that in mind for future works :huggle:
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:iconkirstiarnamohan:
KirstiarnaMohan Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
stunning!
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
thank you :)
Reply
:icontoa-lagara:
Toa-Lagara Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This photo has strange, but soft colors..
Love it :3
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
thanks :P
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:iconmedoriko:
Medoriko Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
This piece has been featured here: [link]
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner May 11, 2013
:aww: thanks!!
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:iconmedoriko:
Medoriko Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Student Writer
No problem :)
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:iconmangasockattack:
mangasockattack Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is really lovely. I love your make-up! The lines are all fairly straight and the colour scheme is really nice. However, I do wish your tanaka was a little lower in the image, perhaps closer to your shoulder? The tanaka itself is well written. I also which the lines of the make-up were a little darker. Lastly, The photomanipulation on the eyes really pulls everything together, but I can see some of the green in the white of the eye, This is, again, really quite lovely and I hope this helps!
:icongoldencritique-club:
XOXO
MSA
Reply
:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
Thank you :D all credit for the make-up must go to the model and stock artist though I must say :aww: And I see what you mean by the location of the text... very centre stage :rofl: most images are generally as you suggested ... I think a wave of inspirational randomness occurred whilst placing the text in this one :squee: I'll take into account all of your suggestions and opinions in future works - thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed comment!! :hug:
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:iconsono-susurr:
Sono-Susurr Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
I know that it's more than just a photo, and the beauty is in the lettering ;D
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
thank you :meow:
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:iconsono-susurr:
Sono-Susurr Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
You're welcome :3
-A
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:iconshadowsmokeandfire:
shadowsmokeandfire Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I really like the poem, and the image goes well with it. The girl kind of reminds me of one of the masks the people wear on Dia de los Muertos when they put on plays. Is that you in the picture?
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012
Thanks :aww: and no it isn't me, I used a stock image (the link to the person whom the stock belongs to is in my description) - ha! I wish it was me though :P pretty huh :meow:
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:iconredspark-reno:
Redspark-Reno Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Student General Artist
This is so cool! Love the colours :D
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012
thank you! :glomp:
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:iconredspark-reno:
Redspark-Reno Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Student General Artist
No problem! :meow:
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:iconshelleyanderson:
ShelleyAnderson Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is absolutely amazing, and I'm so sorry to deface your amazing devianation, but could you please submit your work to the new #BritishArtistGroup Simply because this one --->#British-Artists is admin less there have been two journals and a lot of the new admin team from the new group trying to inform people of this but it seems people are still submitting work here, that and there have been numerous occasions that we have tried to contact the admin of this group but to no success, we hope that you are still able to submit your amazing art and carry your Britishness with you to it could you please spread the word, I hope to see your submissions there :)
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012
Okay, thank you for letting me know :aww: I must have missed the journals somewhere :slap:

Either way, I've rejoined and resubmitted :D

Once again I thank you for your beasty comment!! :typerhappy:
Reply
:iconshelleyanderson:
ShelleyAnderson Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Heheh thank you your submissions shall be reviewed shortly, and no problem ^_^ also please spread the word, submissions in the old group are automatically accepted and there's no one there, and anyways our group is better ^_^
Reply
:iconjuiceofclouds:
juiceofclouds Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WOW, its really cool!
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconthewitchofgrich:
theWitchofGrich Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012
beautiful :D
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012
thank you!! :huggle:
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:iconakibara13:
akibara13 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Thank you for your submission to #ZealZone. A very interesting poem. Nice emotion and also nicely presented. I think this is the first tanka I've read. I'll have to check out more of this style of poetry. Very nice job! :D
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
thank you :huggle:
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:iconakibara13:
akibara13 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
You're very welcome. :hug:
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:iconchibchubs:
Chibchubs Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
pretty i like the hair and the chin
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
thanks :)
Reply
:iconneko-loverx3:
neko-loverx3 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi :D Let's get started :>

Positives:
:bulletblue: Makeup is well done :>
:bulletblue: There are no over powering shadows.
:bulletblue: The necklace and hair accessories really bring the look together!

Negatives:
:bulletgreen: Background does not fit the image well and also it looks a little photo-shopped in the top part of the background.
:bulletgreen: I think when you edited this image you might have messed with the eye color, try to make sure that the eye colors are the same.
:bulletgreen: I think the title of the poem should be on the top of the image instead of the side.

Thank you for submitting your work! :iconcriticentrum:
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
thank you for your comment :)
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:iconheart4art23:
Heart4Art23 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Amazinggggg
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
thank you!! :hug:
Reply
:iconheart4art23:
Heart4Art23 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
you're welcome :)
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:iconrooster5man:
Rooster5man Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
Very good!
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012
thank you :)
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:iconrooster5man:
Rooster5man Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
You're welcome :D
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:iconwingathon:
Wingathon Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student General Artist
WOW :D
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
thank you :D
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:iconwingathon:
Wingathon Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Student General Artist
your welcome :)
Reply
:iconfebo985art:
feBo985art Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012   Traditional Artist
i love it, so beautiful
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
thank you, I'm glad that you like it :hug:
Reply
:iconin2umniakillh3r:
In2umniaKillH3r Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awesome make-up.
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:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012
thanks ^_^
Reply
:iconin2umniakillh3r:
In2umniaKillH3r Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Welcome. :)
Reply
:icondhangerina:
Dhangerina Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
increible!
Reply
:iconthewritingthimble:
thewritingthimble Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
thank you!
Reply
:iconfaerie-punk:
faerie-punk Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful.
I may have a go at tanka some time... but it might be rather hard to get the results you do.
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